The Worst Casinos Ever

The dirt-bags, sleazeballs, and slot pervs hang out in this dingy dives for a little ‘action’ either at the tables or among the opposite sex. That’s just a fact of life. But that doesn’t mean you have to suffer through it. There are plenty of high-quality casinos out there….

Here Are Some That Are Not:

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Circus Circus

Really? A clown-themed casino? Can you imagine eating some cotton candy while holding onto your royal flush? And in all honesty, if you read any of the reviews for this place, you’ll find that the rooms are filthy — one of the chairs stained with vomit. Maybe it was the cotton candy.

Terrible’s Mark Twain Casino

Look, no one can deny the absolutely rich atmosphere of the traditional American riverboat casino with the big steamboat wheel, and one of the first things you think of is Mark Twain. But, seriously: this one’s not a riverboat. It’s on land. Not to mention apparently the payouts weren’t much. Maybe Tom Sawyer stole all the chips!

Treasure Island Hotel and Casino

This was just plain insulting. Yes, it would make sense to equate gambling with ‘treasure,’ but when you think of a dingy boat, some cannons, and grungy pirates, the last thing you think about is luxury, showgirls, and tons of green. Not gold, green. Classic case of mistaken theme here.

Keep Your Eyes Open

Because there are plenty other crappy casinos out there. People seem to forget that sometimes gambling can actually be luxury entertainment — and not an act of sad desperation, as these terrible dives might portray.

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The Best Casinos in the Country

You’ve got to love those establishments: the bright lights, the blinking brights, the crazy slot sounds, the sports coat dice hounds. We’re talking about casinos here. And you can bet there are the very best among some of the blasé. After all, you don’t want a ‘dive.’ You want a true diamond casino — where the big bucks flow. Here are some of the best casinos in the country:

I shot the picture myself from the 108 th floo...

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The Paris Las Vegas Hotel

Think the Eiffel Tower. Think ethereal, surreal, and existential. You’re right in Nevada, the good ol’ United States, and yet you feel like you’re in France. Bonsoir! The Paris Las Vegas Hotel has that dreamy quality to it with all the chips and cards you can lay your hands on. Definitely a winner.

The Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino

Can you imagine luxury in any other way? This is why you keep hearing about the Mandalay for some of the biggest entertainment venues. The towering building is nothing short of monumental and also houses the best pools in Las Vegas to boot. Let’s not forget all the gambling your heart could ever desire.

Caesar’s Palace Classic Hotel

Rome never looked prettier. First you had Paris; now you had Rome. And you definitely feel like the King, too, with your leafed diadem and tunic. With all the taste of the Colosseum and all its glory and no gore, no gladiators, you couldn’t be happier in this adventurous foray into rich gambling and hot winnings.

You can bet there are more than that; know this, though: it’s up to you to find out. Just make sure you bring your wallet.

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How to Count Cards

Can it be done? Most certainly! Just never use a cell phone or other electronic device to do it. And you definitely don’t have to be autistic either. Dispel all your preconceived notions about what counting cards is like, what with all the mental super-computer stuff about knowing exactly what’s coming out of the deck. Because what you’re about to read is the real deal:

Blackjack is part of the casino games.

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Counting Cards: Method, Not Magic

The trick is to keep track of as many cards as you can in your head while tabulating the ratio between the heftier hits — the queens, kings, and aces — and the lower numbers, like the 4′s, 5′s, and 6′s. Counting cards is especially effective when playing Blackjack, because your chances are more based off of the way the cards are stacked in the deck.

Why keep a ratio? Because you have to know how to bet. If you notice after a few drops in Blackjack that more of the aces and kings have dropped, bet less. The reason why is because the chances of any other high cards showing up are less. Likewise, if more low cards drop, you can bet some of the high cards will surface. Bet high.

Not an Exact Science

But that’s okay. It’s not supposed to be. This is why Atlantic City practically encourages card counting. It’s part of the game. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it!

But know this: it does take a lot of practice, skill, patience, and timing.

Make sure you don’t get so stellar at it that the casinos notice and then throw you out, though!

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Is the Rainman For Real?

Of course, we’re speaking about gambling here. Remember the clever scenes in Las Vegas where Tom Cruise took his big brother Raymond to the casino, so they can win some big bucks? Nothing short of ‘fun’ was the name of the game there, although the names of many games there would be — Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, stuff like that.

It’s just a lot more ‘fun’ to win at these games! To win a lot!

Anyway, why would Tom Cruise take his big brother Raymond to the casino? Here’s the reason: Raymond was autistic.

Now that probably doesn’t mean a whole lot to you — except that in the movie Raymond’s form of autism was that of a Savant Syndrome. Basically, in layman’s terms, Raymond was extremely high functioning. This was a guy that could count all the toothpicks in a box after it fell to the floor and spilled.

This was also a guy who could count cards.

Wait a second, counting cards? In a casino?

Now here’s the million-dollar question: is that for real? Could it be possible to “count cards”?

Well, the Savant Syndrome is extremely rare when it comes to autism, but the truth is anyone can count cards with the proper instruction.

Listen closely, because this might surprise you. The fact is this: counting cards in a casino is not illegal, and you most certainly can be like the Rain Man!

However, counting cards has been recognized as a skill of the mind, not a full-proof way of winning. In fact, Atlantic City practically encourages it!

You’ve got to love the Rain Man, right? Tom Cruise certainly did.

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Gambling For the Good: A Lesson From Richard Dreyfuss

Richard Dreyfuss said it best…. “Just let me win this one last one.” That was in the film Let It Ride, and boy what a fun one that was. Why? Because it was about a surreal, ideal novelty concept. That you can bet on the one no one will bet on, and you’ll win! Due to some cosmic force unknown to anyone but yourself, you can ‘let it ride’ and sit right at the top.

Let’s backtrack for a moment and get some background on what this is all about: horse racing. In the broader term: gambling. Richard Dreyfuss plays a guy who’s down on his luck, marriage is a little rocky, temptation’s high, and he has what many might call a ‘gambling problem.’

But something happens to him. He takes a trip to the horse races and has an epiphany! Suddenly he’s winning race after race after race, paying off all his debts, treating his wife to treasures no one would ever know, and wouldn’t you know it? — by the end of the film, it’s definitely suggested that he utterly quits the addiction of gambling for good.

Why? Because he doesn’t need it anymore. He not only won a ton of money, much more than he ever needs and wants; but he won over his own respect, the respect of his wife, and realizes that it’s not about the money –

It’s about giving back, and settling everything you owe.

You can bet that gambling would be about fun instead of addiction, though! You can learn from stories like that. Thank you, Mr. Dreyfuss….

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